Podcast 24 TRANSCRIPT
How to be French Part II – very French habits
Janine: Bonjour and bienvenue, hello and welcome to The Good Life France Podcast – everything you want to know about France – and more.
I’m chatting to you from my somewhat messy desk in a converted pigsty in the middle of nowhere in northern France. It’s a gloriously rural area known as the 7 Valleys in the department of Pas-de-Calais. I am by birth British but after having a home in France for almost 20 years I do feel almost French. But not quite – and I’ll explain why in a minute! I’m an author, and I’m the editor of The Good Life France Magazine and website, and I am not going to be modest about it because I am very proud of what we publish, the wonderful travel writers and photographer who make up our team, and the fact that we are in fact no. 1 in the world for our independent and free to read magazine and website for English speakers. If you’d like to know more pop to www.thegoodlfiefrance.com
And, I love to share the France I know with you alongside my podcast partner Olivier Jauffrit.
Oli: Salut, bonjour everyone – yes I am Oli, I’m a Frenchie, born in west of France but I live in the UK… Well, as of today I am. BUT, my family and I have decided to move back to France in the next 6 to 9 months. In the world capital of gastronomy: LYON. And we are very excited about that. To be continued soon…
Now, Janine, just to be sure – you work in a pigsty… hmmm – but no cochons, no little piggies hey?
Janine: No – no pigs, just me and my 4 dogs and 8 cats, though thankfully not all at the same time! But Bread Man, he’s not made of bread, he’s the man who delivers bread to my village since we are several miles from a boulangerie, he did think that I kept pigs in here at the same time! So, just to explain, I bought a hovel of a farmhouse 20 years ago and I’ve been renovating ever since – think dirt floors and a hit and miss roof through which you could see the stars at night. Well in the garden was a building with just three sides, filled with mud, it was the old pigsty. Over time, we – my other half Mark and me – cleared it out and we turned it into an office.
One day the Bread Man came delivering on a really damp day, the rain was cascading down the hill outside my door, you could have actually surfed it. Well Bread Man loves my dogs and I came to the door to collect my baguette and he asked where his favourite dog was. I told him the dog refused to leave the pigsty on account of the rain – he doesn’t like it. I’m teaching Bread Man English, but he didn’t know what pigsty was, and I didn’t know what it was in French. So I elaborated – it’s the house where the pigs live in the garden.
“You have pigs living in your house” he said looking at me as if I’d gone round the twist. No I told him, the pigs used to live in there, now I write in there. He was still focused on the pigs in the house bit – “You write with the pigs?”
Well I tried my best to explain but I don’t think I did that well as two people form the next village have since asked me if I keep pigs in the house!
Oli: I think with all your animals, 60 isn’t it? Maybe a pig would just fit in quite nicely!
But enough of that, it’s time to talk about How to be French, part II. In How to be French part I we looked at things like dunking your croissant in your coffee, cheese etiquette, the French obsession with wearing scarves and talking – a lot, and heaps more things that make the French so French, things that are unique to France, fun, and sometimes just a little bit weird to some people – but not to us French, well ok, maybe even to us sometimes just a little bit odd. OK so you might think that somethings we do us French, are little bit different or a bit odd, but they seem perfectly natural to me.
Janine: Which is why I’m going to mention some more of the things that non-Frenchies think are a bit odd – and you have to say whether you agree or not!
Now I could mention things like couilles de mouton, sheeps testicles. In Dordogne they like to make something called frivolités beneventines. A big bag of, well, testicles which are peeled, soaked in cold water for three hours, sliced, and then grilled with lemon, parsley and white wine. Have I had them? No. So I can’t say that they are horrible. Would I eat them? Not if I can help it. Or how about andouillette – a sausage made with pigs intestines flavoured with pepper, wine and onions and which has a frankly disturbing smell. Makes me think of when I was young and we used to chant ‘yum yum pig’s bum. The smell is nightmarish actually But I’m going to start with something sweeter – sort of.
Oli – do you think that pastilles de musculines are a bit weird? And can you explain what they are because they’re so French it might be that most people have never even heard of them!
Oli: Ok – pastilles de musculines, not masculine - they are for everyone – are sweets. But they are a bit different from your usual sweets. They’re made in Burgundy at the Notre Dame des Domes Abbey. And the ingredients are quince pear and orange jam, honey, sugar and – raw beef!
They are not like the number one sweet in France to be honest. But it’s said that they give you energy, especially if you eat them before you exercise. They’re made from a recipe developed by a professor and a doctor at the medical university of Montpellier and given to the monks at the Abbey. Different but not odd.
Janine: Raw beef sweets, yes with sugar and fruit. Different but not odd you say? Ok – I’m not sure that everyone will agree with you but I think my dogs, who are admittedly French, would love them.
Let’s move away from food for a minute, maybe not for long because this is France after all, and talk about swimming trunks. Yes you heard that right. Swimming trunks, swimming suits, bathing trunks, swim trunks whatever you like to call them – the bathing outfits worn by men in the swimming pool. And at the same time let’s talk swimming caps, those rubber hats that you have to yank over your head, if you’ve got hair, try and push it all in so that you look like Jiminy Cricket on a bad day.
So let me explain. In France, it is the law that men must wear tight fitting trunks in public pools. None of that baggy surfer dude stuff here non non but the type sometimes referred to as budgie smugglers and I’ll leave that there.
It is also required that in pretty much most public pools, everyone must wear a rubber bathing cap. Even if you haven’t got hair.
Believe me – this is not a good look. You may be thinking Daniel Craig emerging from the ocean in his famous blue swimsuit in Casino Royale – the reality is somewhat different in French swimming pools. Now imagine him wearing a rubber cap – hmmm – not quite so good ha. But yes, we must all don these hideous things in the public pools. You don’t have to wear them on beaches by the way, or in private pools like hotels – it’s only municipal, public pools. If you’re packing for a holiday in France – no need to rush out and buy a new costume and a matching rubber hat. And you can actually buy the rubber hats at swimming pools from a vending machine.
I have to say Oli, I thought this was very unusual when I first went swimming and had no idea of the rules. I emerged from the changing room without a rubber hat, jumped into the water and whistled straight out and sent to the reception to sort myself out.
Oli: Well basically this is about hygiene. If you can wear the baggy shorts out on the street – you can’t wear it in the pool. And officially it’s also about public welfare and reducing the chance of pollution in the water – hair, sweat etc from wearing clothes maybe all day. And the same with the rubber head cover – it’s to stop your hair from going in the water.
Janine: But you still have to wear the cap if you haven’t got any hair?
Oli: Yes ;-) Democracy and solidarity.
Janine: A friend in Paris told me that he didn’t know the rules and he went to a pool early one morning and jumped in wearing his Mark and Spencers long baggy shorts and the pool attendants staring blowing whistles, shouting and tried to fish him out with a long hook!
Oli: It’s a law that goes back 120 years when municipal pools first became popular in France and, often it comes up for discussion in the French senate “hmm is it time to change the law?” but it never gets approved. But you know, we don’t mind in France, we grow up used to this – we don’t think it is at all strange.
Janine: Pretty sure a few people listening won’t be agreeing with you but hey ho. Let’s move on… This is one habit that for me is uniquely French and yup, just a little bit off the wall. So, I was recently on a tour in the north of France where I live, I take the train everywhere in France as it reaches everywhere and is easy. But this time I went local and there were a group of us, a small group on a coach doing a foodie tour – because the food here is absolutely amazing – and the tour leader told the coach driver to go down a little road to get to where we needed to be. The coach driver said that the SatNav told her not to go that way. The tour guide insisted. And we go down the road and there’s a low bridge and the coach can’t go under it and we have to reverse up a main road to get out of the situation. The driver was a tad peeved about this and said “oh dearie, dearie me, whoops a daisy” or words to that effect. She was British too so you know, a bit more colourful in her expressions.
We all looked at the tour guide who said “J’ai rien dit” which, and I know this because I speak enough French to fully understand that sentence, so it means “I didn’t say anything.” So I said, yes you did, you said to go down that street. And the tour guide said “Oui, mais je me suis trompé” “yes, but it was a mistake.” In all the time I have been here, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a French person admit to being wrong and the way round it is simply to say, if you’re French “J’ai rien dit” and that takes the wrongness away. Apparently.
Unfortunately for the tour guide, we were all British on the tour and we are always wrong about everything (I am not going to mention Brexit), and like everyone else to be wrong too. It was a battle of wills. We lost. But we knew. It is impossible for a French person to be wrong. True or false Oli.
Oli: True of course. It’s perfectly normal – French people are never wrong about anything! We drive on the right side of the road, we eat cheese after dessert and we don’t apologise. British people apologise for everything “sorry it’s raining today, sorry I trod on your foot, sorry I just rammed you with my trolley in the supermarket”. In France, if we break our mum’s favourite ornament by accident, burn dinner and have nothing to serve our guests, turn up really late – we never say sorry. And if we say take this turning here, and it’s wrong, yes we simply say “I didn’t say anything!”
Janine: Right – let’s talk about queuing.
Oli: What is that – queuing? LOL
Janine: Yes – that right there is what I mean – French people seem to have no concept of queuing. In fact no one in France appears to have been taught the art of queuing. We in Britain are masters of the skill. We will queue for many hours if need be, it is a national point of pride that we can stand in a line and wait our turn. If we know we are going to have to queue for a long time, it doesn’t put us off at all – we take a flask of tea and that will get us through anything.
Now, let’s look at France.
French people do not like to queue.
Once, me and Mark went to a summer fete in the town of Fruges near where we live. There was to be a hog roast in a big tent for lunch, but the roasted pig caught fire. Now, this being France, we were not evacuated from the tent but were given glasses of strong rum punch as we watched the pompiers, the firemen, put the fire out. It wasn’t very big.
So – rum punch plus a blazing hot tent and a late lunch. What do you think happened when a voice came over a tannoy announcing we should head to the buffet table to be served?
Oli: Well late lunch is a problem for sure, I mean how late, it was after 12 right?
Janine: By now it was about 1.30
Oli: Oh that is a big problem – way too late for us Frenchies!
Janine: So me and Mark we walk to front of the tent to queue to be served our lunch. I’m under 5 feet, he’s 6 feet 4 inches, we look like the Crankys. We’re ready to queue. But no that’s not what happens. Grown men and women fought with each other to get to the front. Jean-Claude, my neighbour and our table companion, dragged Mark with him, dead-legging anyone who got in the way, pushing Mark in front of him as a human battering ram. Me I was forgotten about, no use to him to get to the front of the queue. The servers practically threw the food onto plates trying to clear the rabble from the front. Afterwards everyone sat very politely as if nothing had happened. One of those “j’ai dit rien” – I said nothing, or rather in this case I did nothing situations.
Oli: We don’t like queuing on the roads either! We hate to be in a line of traffic behind a tractor, we want to be free!
Janine: Yes this is true – and funny enough, when driving, the hand gestures we use in the UK seem to be just as well understood in France!
And now, because this is France, let’s go back to food. It is pretty much the law to talk about food here! Ok I wasn’t going to talk about the couilles de mouton that I mentioned at the start. Sheep testicles. But I can’t help it because. It’s weird.
Snail cake. I was at Dijon market, standing at a stall admiring the display of cold meats and hors d’oeuvres and the lady behind the stall said would I like to try something gateaux. That’s all I heard gateau. Now at one end of this stall they did in fact have some lovely looking cakes. So I said yes please and she passed me a plate with a fork and a slice of gateau – except it wasn’t millefeuille, or an opera cake or any of those delicious cakes the French make so beautifully. It was snail cake. And yes I did eat it because I didn’t know how to be French then or I would have said “J’ai dit rien” I didn’t say anything!
Oli: So now you know how to be a bit more French in this Part 2 episode – never be wrong, never queue, eat raw beef sweets and wear a rubber hat in the pool – aha – you must be French!
But, now it’s time to answer a listener’s question as we do in every episode...
Janine: So today’s question is from Susana Murphy from the lovely county of Dublin in Ireland – Irlande in French. She says: My surname Murphy is one of the most common surnames in Ireland. What’s the most common surname in France?” Oli – over to you for the answer on this one…
Oli: Martin – or as you English speakers say Martin! It’s also a prenom, a first name, so you could have someone called Martin Martin! It’s a common surname in many countries in fact. Dupont is also very common by the way…
Janine: My mum’s family were Martins!
Oli: The name comes from Saint Martinus, a 4th century Bishop of Tours in the Loire Valley. And there are more than 300,000 people in France with the surname Martin!
Thanks so much for this question, Susanna. If you also have a question for us – feel free to send it to janine@thegoodlifefrance.com or via our podcast newsletter.
Oli : Thank you for listening to our podcast, we love chatting to you and sharing authentic, real, and yes sometimes odd France! And a huge thank you for sharing it with your friends and family – we are really grateful to you for helping us to grow our podcast.
You’ve been listening to Janine Marsh and me Olivier Jauffrit. You can find me at parischanson.fr
Janine: And you can find me and heaps of information about France – where to visit, culture, history, recipes – everything France - at thegoodlifefrance.com where you can subscribe to the podcast, my weekly newsletter about France and our totally brilliant, totally free magazine at magazine.thegoodlifefrance.com
But for now, it’s au revoir from me.
Olivier: And goodbye from me.
Janine: Speak to you soon!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)